I am existing...nothing more nothing less. I get through what i have to to get through the day. My poor children are having to entertain themselves.
I am in denial I know that mum has gone but i refuse to think about it and if i do the slightest thing gets me crying again. How am i supposed to cope without her. I miss her so much. I just want one more kiss, 1 more cuddle.
She was the best mum someone could have.
I have a continous lump in my throat and i cannot shake this headache.
I feel as if i am not allowed to mourne her now. Her funeral is over with. I should be getting on with my life. When all i want to do is go to bed and cry for my mum. Cry for all the birthdays she will miss. Her childrens weddings she will miss.
I miss her phonecalls everytime the phone rings i hope that its mum and this has all been a huge mistake. When infact she is still alive and i have been dreaming. Perhaps i could pretend she is still here but i just havnt seen her for a while.